'They said they needed to "focus on their plants"': 25+ Awkward reasons people gave for dumping their significant other

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Nov 3, 2024 3:00 PM EST

Breaking up is hard to do… Just ask these people who were dumped in some awkward and cringeworthy ways, and lived to tell the tale. 

Not every relationship is meant to last forever. Some romances reach their peak within a few months, and then it's time to find someone else to date who's more suited to you. But you've already invested so much time and energy into this person that you don't want to hurt their feelings. You might think it's too hurtful to tell them you don't think you're a match any longer. Trust these people when they tell you, however, that there are much worse reasons you can give for ending things. 

For example, one person needed to focus on their pet's emotional health, and used that as their breakup excuse! I don't know why they thought that would comfort their now-ex more than just being straightforward, but clearly their ex remembered it for a long time afterward. A bunch of people shared their cringiest breakup excuses, and you can read some of the funniest ones below. This year, let's stop blaming our pets and plants for our breakups, and just try to move on with grace. 

Up next, this 17-year-old decided to sneakily decant a bunch of her relative's expensive perfumes, but when confronted, her mother insisted that she was "just a kid." 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10423485184
    via Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash+
  • 02
    What's the worst excuse someone used to dump you?
    via u/PainterWeary4761
  • 03
    InternationalSc... I was more ghosted than explicitly dumped, but his excuse was that he'd discovered he was having an allergic reaction to his laundry detergent and was too busy dealing with the situation to text me back.
    via u/InternationalScar972
  • 04
    Agitated_Ad_3... My boyfriend is coming back.
    via u/Agitated_Ad_3876
  • 05
    canna-crux She invited me to go out with her and some friends. I told her upfront that I was low on money until payday, so if I went, it would just be to hang out-I wouldn't be able to buy anything. At the diner, she orders a shake, and when the bill comes, she asks if I will pay for it. I
    via u/canna-crux
  • 06
    reminded her I was completely broke and didn't have money in the bank. Another guy friend steps in and offers to pay for her shake and my gas. Two days later, she dumped me for him. Why? I didn't offer to pay her bill.
    via u/canna-crux
  • 07
    lucky-fluke "I'm too broke to have a girlfriend right now." He was dating another co- worker the next day.
    via u/lucky-fluke
  • 08
    Green-Elf I got dumped once because of something I "did" in a persons dream. I repeatedly reminded them that I didn't do the thing but they said that it seemed like something I could do.
    via u/Green-Elf
  • 09
    That thing? Eat her lunch at work. We didn't work at the same place.
    via u/Green-Elf
  • 10
    ModrakNoren Someone told me they were breaking up because their pet goldfish needed more attention.
    via u/ModrakNoren
  • 11
    HomerJSimps... Granted this was high school: she didn't want a commitment. I started becoming friendly with another girl in school. This enraged the ex because apparently her telling me she didn't want a commitment meant SHE didn't want to commit to me, but expected me to stay single for her.
    via u/HomerJSimpson3
  • 12
    I ended up marrying the second girl, we've been together over 21 years now.
    via u/HomerJSimpson3
  • 13
    S Bag Tomat... He said I smelled like soup. That I smelled exactly like beef vegetable soup.
    via u/S***BagTomatoNose
  • 14
    LovingRielyn They said they needed to "focus on their plants."
    via u/LovingRielyn
  • 15
    Dunoh2828 Our star signs weren't compatible.
    via u/Dunoh2828
  • 16
    Impressive Fall- I got Dump with because I "allowed" my boyfriend to go on a trip with his friends out of state. He told me that it was obvious I didn't care about him because if I did I wouldn't let him go on a trip where he would probably cheat on me. Still doesn't make sense to me.
    via u/Impressive_Fall-
  • 17
    BraveSyris I need to focus on my cat's emotional needs.
    via u/BraveSyris
  • 18
    Cozy Thynara I can't date you; my horoscope says no.
    via u/Cozy Thynara
  • 19
    TenderMyrla I'm too busy learning to juggle to date.
    via u/TenderMyrla
  • 20
    thepaintingbear My ex thought I was cheating on her whilst I was in Australia with my friend....who was in England... she said she didn't trust that a man and woman could be friends and therefore didn't trust me.
    via u/thepaintingbear
  • 21
    EinsteinVonBr... "I've swapped places with a version of myself from an alternate universe. This version of me doesn't love this version of you."
    via u/EinsteinVonBrainless
  • 22
    wrappedinplas... Six months into the relationship, he said it was over because he didn't like my long hair anymore.
    via u/wrappedinplastic315
  • 23
    ShowOffJonah "You're just using me for my food and my clothes" from the guy I was buying breakfast for every morning.
    via u/ShowOffJonah
  • 24
    masta_myagi I invaded her privacy By that I mean I found, in a pad of paper that we used for shopping lists & budgeting, an unfinished note addressed to her ex that admits they had a few weeks prior
    via u/masta_myagi
  • 25
    flowerblissy "It's not you; it's my dog... He doesn't like when I date people." Yep, that was the excuse. Apparently, his dog. was some sort of highly selective relationship guardian, and I didn't make the cut. Still not sure if it was the dog or him, but honestly, it's a pretty ruff way to end things.
    via u/flowerblissy
  • 26
    DrRonny "Message not Delivered" whatever that means, and when I ask for clarification she keeps repeating it over and over
    via u/DrRonny
  • 27
    CandyFairyy I remember one guy dumped me because I was too good to him. He was so insecure about himself and thought something had to go wrong. for some reason.
    via u/CandyFairyy
  • 28
    g Someone I considered to be my best friend of 6 years told me "she needed to see if she would be missing me if I weren't there" Needless to say - we aren't friends anymore
    via u/gu3ssmynameavocado
  • 29
    ANGRYSLOTH28 My ex wife told me now that she's successful at her job she felt like she didn't need me anymore. We were together 10 years. When I met her I paid all the bills. and fully supported her. Found out she was sleeping with a coworker who is still married to his wife.
    via u/ANGRYSLOTH28
  • 30
    SeductiveVaelys They said they were "too busy with their cat."
    via u/SeductiveVaelys
  • 31
    Vanessatiburski That I "cared" too much and wanted to "help him too much", insane if you ask me
    via u/Vanessatiburski
  • 32
    Best_Estate_5... He falsely accused me of cheating. I never cheated on him. Then he got together with one of my friends.
    via u/Best_Estate_5995
  • 33
    AsvpCake That Im trying too hard for life
    via u/AsvpCake
  • 34
    Cheesefang They were too chicken sh to bring it up themselves. I was sensing something was up for about a month and kept asking, but he said nothing and continued to isolate. We were living together which made it
    via u/Cheesefang
  • 35
    worse. When I casually brought up ending things, he perked up and immediately said yes, as if he was waiting for me to say it. I am still extremely bitter about the situation.
    via u/Cheesefang
  • 36
    thehillthatrides This was a long time ago, but something along the lines of them thinking I would not be able to handle myself in the event of a velociraptor attack (or maybe it was zombies?) was a real deal breaker. The hypothetical scenario made them realize I was too much of a liability I guess?
    via u/thehillthatrides
  • 37
    f4ttyKathy They didn't like the way I did my eyebrows. The shape, my technique... They had a whole rant. It was a lot at the time.
    via u/f4ttyKathy
  • 38
    SnooStrawber... My mom says we should date other people before we get married. (We were 16 haha and I would have married that guy. His mom was right).
    via u/SnooStrawberries620
  • 39
    want2bteslao... A Christian date, he didn't want to date me because my teeth aren't perfect. I dodged a bullet.
    via u/want2bteslao
  • 40
    Lele_ "You wake up too early"
    via u/Lele_
  • 41
    mojojojo-369 "I don't think I can do long distance anymore. There is way too much going on, and you're not here." When I asked her if there was someone else, she thought for a good 30 seconds, and said, "There might be."
    via u/mojojojo-369
  • 42
    Over Plane515 One of the worst excuses for me was "Mercury is in retrograde, and I just can't commit to anything right now." There's no shortage of odd reasons when someone just doesn't want to be straightforward LOL
    via u/Over_Plane515
  • 43
    Totallynotokay... I snore too loud.
    via u/Totallynotokayokay
  • 44
    Imasniffachair "You're too good for me" no I wasn't.
    via u/Imasniffachair
  • 45
    jeidaisy "i tried to love you but i just cant. i only confess to you because our friend told me to" my friend didnt actually force him to confess to me. its more like, she encouraged him to choose, whether to reject me wholeheartedly or accept my feelings for him. he chose the later and broke up with me after a week.
    via u/jeidaisy
  • 46
    jeidaisy "i tried to love you but i just cant. i only confess to you because our friend told me to" my friend didnt actually force him to confess to me. its more like, she encouraged him to choose, whether to reject me wholeheartedly or accept my feelings for him. he chose the later and broke up with me after a week.
    via u/jeidaisy
  • 47
    Dawn_Of_The... "He's just so similar to you, he's like a new version of you and I'm excited I get to do it again..." Twenty years later and I'm still confused by it.
    via u/Dawn_Of_The_Dave
  • 48
    No_Lemon4567 First girlfriend broke up with me in junior school because I drank from her favourite glass at her birthday party
    via u/No_Lemon4567
  • 49
    NaughtyPrince... Because I wanted piercings needless to say I have 9 and plan on having a total of 20
    via u/NaughtyPrinceMoth
  • 50
    notrandomgirl... For studying too hard :)
    via u/notrandomgirlhere
  • 51
    fanonimus99 Not a romantical dump, but a friend of mine texted me that she doesn't want to talk to me bc I know her better than she knows herself. We have been best friends for five years. Friends for seven.
    via u/fanonimus99
  • 52
    My trust and abandonment issues went brrr and I almost cut contact with all of my friends. Fun times.
    via u/fanonimus99

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